Sio Kila Love Ni Yako – Na Sawa Tu, Series: Letters to My 17-Year-Old Self *Post 1: On Love & Distractions

 

Dear Me,

Campo ilikua chaos – lakini yeye alikua calm yangu.
At least nilidhani.

Ukiingia chuo, madem walikua kila kona – na kama mseeye wa mtaa unayependwa sana na smile, ilikuwa rahisi kupotea. But one girl, different kabisa, alikuja na presence yenye ilikufanya utulie. She didn’t have to shout to be noticed – alikuwa silent storm.

Alikuona venye uko. Vile una-struggle, vile unajaribu kuwa better.
Alichange vile ulikuwa unacheza game – ukabadilika.
Kwa mara ya kwanza, ukaskia kama love inaweza kuku-focus, si kukuchanganya.

Nlikua najua ni yeye – venye alinishika mkono pale main campus parking, akaniuliza,

“Unaskia aje ukikua mtrue?”
Nilishindwa kujibu.

But real talk, bro – mapenzi haikuja na guarantee.

After suspension ya campus ilikuhit, life ikarudi kuwa heavy. Na yeye? Aligeuka. Biz yenu, ile mliunda kwa ndoto na hustle, ikaanza kupick – then boom, ikasplit. Hakukuwa na fight. Hakukuwa na sorry. Alianza kukuonyesha uko kwa periphery ya life yake.

Ulimwambia hauna tei. Akakuambia ujinunulie.
Ulishuka Ngong hadi Eldy juu ya modem ya kazi – akakuona for less than ten minutes, then akabounce.

Iyo siku ilikuhit differently.
Ulichoka kuhope. Ulichoka ku-trust intentions za mtu mwingine zaidi ya zako.

But Bro – Hii Usiisahau:

  • Love si kitu mbaya.

  • Wewe hauku-fail kwa kupenda.

  • Wewe haukua mjinga – ulikua soft kwa mtu wrong.

You gave loyalty, presence, and consistency. She gave silence.
But from that silence, ulipata sauti yako.

“Kupenda si makosa – kujilost kwa mapenzi ndio huumiza.”

How That Season Shaped You...

Since then, umelearn kupenda bila kuachilia core yako.
Mapenzi ilikukatakata, lakini haikukumaliza. Ilikufunza kujijenga upya.
Ilikuambia: Jua value yako kabla ya kupea mtu access.

Uliheal kimya. Uliamua peace > pressure.
Na ukaelewa – kama ni ya kweli, haitakutoroka ukihitaji zaidi.

If I Could Tell You This Sooner...

Bro, mapenzi ya ukweli haitegemei uko high ama low.
Mtu wako wa ukweli hatabounce juu maisha imekuwa tough.
Next time, before uchoose love, chagua peace yako.

Today, I don’t blame you for how much you gave.
I honor you – for healing in silence.
And for learning that you can be good, even when the world ain’t.

“Ukiwa na moyo safi, si kila mtu atakuelewa – na si lazima.”

Sincerely,
The man who still believes in love – but loves himself first.

🔖 Coming Up Next:

Letter 2: On Fake Friends & Loyalty – When Vitu Huvunjika Bila Warning.

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